Missing My Daughters 7th Birthday

Tuesday is my daughters seventh birthday but the first one I will not be apart of since she was born and it is breaking my heart. My friend and I went out today to get her birthday present together because I was unable to go do it by myself. The tears flowed as I searched for the right card especially since there was no card that could tell my daughter how much I miss her and how much I wish I could be there for her.

This stress brought such week moments to me as I went through out my day and gave me such fears of acting out. My thoughts would drift from depression towards missing my daughter to thoughts of how I could seek comfort through acts of sexual inappropriateness. You see it has been two weeks now that I had to go off my medication for depression because of the cost and although I feel I am doing well I am having a hard time dealing with these up and down emotions I am having. I am slowly learning to look to God and not to focus on the things of this moment for I know God has a bigger plan for me, that is my hope.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal".

Comments

Michael said…
Dude that sucks.
6:27 PM
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