I HATE CRYING!

The definition for crying is the process of shedding tears (usually accompanied by sobs or other inarticulate sounds); Let me say that I did it all tonight! I SOBED and had plenty of INARTICULATE SOUNDS coming from my person. Needless to say it was a very rough night for me.

It is my daughters 7th birthday today and I tried so hard to arrange a time to call and talk with her on the phone and to tell her happy birthday, however, my wife had different plans. I can’t say that I blame her though because I hurt her deeply this past year. So when I called tonight God gave me the words and calmness to not react but to listen and to be as honest as I could with her. With nervousness in my voice I was able to get the words out to tell my wife that I was sorry for her pain and that I acknowledge that she has every right to be as angry as she is with me and or any other feelings she is experiencing towards me. I don’t know exactly what words I said to her as I was shaking, I just prayed the whole time for God to speak through me and I felt that He did. Needless, to say it may not have been the best conversation ever but it was a lot better than the previous ones we had.

I have friends in my life who keep telling me not to hold onto the pain but to rather let the tears flow and that by releasing all of those emotions I will allow myself to grieve and that by crying I will find more growth in doing so. Well, I will just have to take their words for this but I HATE CRYING! The truth is I know they are right, thank God for the people he has put into my life who are willing to speak the truth to me.

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