I want to know Gods love

I have really enjoyed the messages this month at church; we are doing a series over the life of David. It has been GREAT insight for me and where I am at right now in my journey. I have so much that I need to learn about who God really is and how he forgives and loves. A thought I had today when my pastor picked me up for church was; if this man can love me as he has shown through these ups and downs that I am having (so frequently) and give me such compassion and hope, how much then does God look at me and really care? I must confess that I can not conceive that right now but I do know He wants for me to know this and to feel good about who I am and can be through all of this turmoil. I don’t understand what it is like to be loved for who I am and not what I offer, I want to know Gods love.

Pastor has talked a lot in his sermons how to restore a brother who has fallen which I knew in my head how to do and have in the past done for others but I never knew what was really needed of the person who was seeking the restoration or how gut wrenching it is for that person who is climbing out of the hurt and pain. I hope I will never forget this pain that I have experienced if for no other reason than to stay where I need to be (whole) and to hopefully help at least one other person who might be going through what I am.

These sermons have shown me this month what God expects of me in order to be restored. He wants me is to trust Him and to trust what he is working through me and around me in my life. I know now that it is not for me to understand the things that are happening such as my truck breaking down or not being able to communicate with my daughter the way I would like to but to rather accept where I am. I want a future but a real future and I know I can not do that on my own so I have no other option but to trust him and I really want too. I want a true desire to love and follow God, something that I pray every night. Please pray for me too!

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